Touch (Cigarettes After Sex): Some Thoughts

Honestly I am not a super big listener of CAS, but I do occasionally enjoy the melancholy they play. They tend to have very similar riffs, chords, and rhythms in every single song, and that’s probably why I listen to them only at some certain moments. Especially when I need to fall asleep, with a deep dream mode, the very delay effect gives the perfect sense of calmness. I can imagine this is a good option when I feel like staring at the ceiling and fancy a galaxy up there.

Talking about love songs, which are not really in my top playlist because they always seem fragile to me, is not my strength. Especially like CAS’ love songs, modern love, self-centered sadness, sometimes give me a sense of unbearable lightness of being. When I first listened to Touch it totally gave me this deep feeling.

You know, the intimacy between human being is a century puzzle that is always confusing, and I am sure I do not over-exaggerate it. I think I fall for this song’s expression of confusion in our lives. It reminds me of a phrase like ‘It’s lonelier when we are two together.’ On the other hand, it also haunts me so much the concept that restrains oneself from being in love with someone else, even if they are affectionate with each other. These two kinds of extreme have me believe life is intriguing. And it resonates the questions that I always have: how much emotional does a person need to be; how much rational then?

I tend to believe there must be a perfect point of balancing one’s sensibility and rationality to own an ultimately stable mind. But maybe I am wrong, it is like an unstable equilibrium that we all know there it is but absolutely unachievable, just as if even after you have a cup of water and your mind is in a different state already. Somehow I am really fascinating with this searching journey, of course towards love and every state of our senses.

This pandemic shutdown has given me too much time to spend with myself — and think too much probably. But listening to songs and get myself to contemplate some philosophical questions is part of my life now. I think it is a bit bitter and painful, but still I enjoy this new way of learning.

Maybe it’s why I am being selective on my playlist now. And it’s another day with useless thinking, or not.